1. Why did the guy try to avoid eye surgery by rubbing ketchup in his eyes?  He had heard that Heinz sight was 20/20.
2. Patient: “Doc, I get a stabbing pain in my eye every time I take a sip of coffee."  Doctor: “Have you tried taking the spoon out of the mug?"
3. What do you call a penguin with no eye?  A pengun!
4. At what elevation is your vision the best?  See Level.
5. Why don’t optometrists use tape measures?  They’re really good at eyeballing it.
6. What did the eyeball say to the eyelid?...

There are many things that can cause your eye to turn red.

The eye looks red when the blood vessels that are in the conjunctiva (the mucous membrane that covers the white of your eye and the backside of your eyelids) becomes dilated.

Those blood vessels often dilate when the eye gets irritated. This irritation can originate from a problem occurring inside the eye or factors from outside the eye.

The most common external factors that can cause the eye to become red are exposure to...